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October 30, 2007

Game Review: Guitar Hero III - Legends of Rock

OOOOH... a new Guitar Hero game! I can't think of any better way to celebrate the end of October.

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No. I don't mean "rocktober". Get a haircut, douchebag.

Anyway, the great thing about Guitar Hero is that it's just like playing a real guitar! Well, not exactly. With a real guitar you can play actual music. And you can impress girls. You can't play music with a Guitar Hero game controller. Instead, you hit color coded buttons on a fake guitar, as correspondingly colored dots fly across the screen. So I guess it's not really like playing guitar, after all. But -- just like a real guitarist -- you'll find that you have to practice for HOURS every day if you want to get good at Guitar Hero. Plus, like a real guitarist, you'll get nasty finger calluses. Those always impress the ladies!

So, how does this new version of the game stack up to the previous ones? Well, if you liked previous editions of Guitar Hero (GH I, GH II, GH Rocks the 80s, GH Celebrates the Soft Sounds of the 70s) you're sure to love Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock. Because it's the exact same game. I mean, the EXACT same game. The only difference is that they've introduced some new songs. But, looking over the game's song-list, you've got to wonder if they're running out of rock-worthy tunes to include in these games. Sure, Scorpions' "Rock You Like a Hurricane" is undeniably awesome; and who wouldn't want to "play" the guitar solo from Guns N' Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle" (the first hair metal anthem based on the psychological writings of Carl Gustav Jung-le). But some of these tracks are pretty marginal. I've never heard of the band Priestess, nor the band AFI. And, based on the tracks I've heard on GH III, I've decided to continue not having heard of them. Furthermore, the game features a "special guest appearance" by washed-up Poison vocalist/reality show participant Bret Michaels. With starpower like this, I've gained new appreciation for the nameless studio musicians who recorded all the music for previous versions of the game.

Don't get me wrong. Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, is still an entertaining game. It does, in fact, rock. It just doesn't RAWK. For this reason, I can only give the game four Joeys. HARD ROCKING JOEYS.

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These Joeys are rocking on the inside

Posted by Joey at October 30, 2007 03:58 AM

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