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August 08, 2007

Albino Porn

In order to better serve you, the internet website reading public, I carefully monitor all of the traffic to joeyheadset.com through a sophisticated "webstats" software package. These webstats reveal how many visitors the site receives, which web browsers they are using and which pages they are viewing. The software also provides data regarding users' blood type, ethnic background and sexual orientation. Additionally, these stats let me know what keywords users were searching for when they came across my site.

When checking my stats today, I was shocked to see that some users have found my site while searching for the term "Albino Porn".

Uh... WTF?

While I am always happy to see increased traffic to my website, I am worried that users are viewing my site for the wrong reasons. Obviously there is no pornography here -- and certainly no pornography that features albinos. I like albinos as much as the next guy, but I have no interest in seeing them engage in sexual intercourse. Not even hot, nasty, triple-x hardcore sex.

I didn't even realize that albino porn was a bona fide genre of porn. I've been around the inter-block a few times, and I'm pretty sure I haven't stumbled across any albino themed porn. Animal porn? Sure. Robot porn? Absolutely. I've even come upon a massive stash of Down Syndrome porn... which, in retrospect, I rather wish I could purge from my memory. But in all of my internet travels, I have never seen any pigmentally challenged individuals sexing at each other.

Maybe this is a an unexploited market. For all I know, there are hundreds -- maybe thousands! -- of frustrated albino porn enthusiasts who can't find any erotic images that satisfy their own peculiar fetish. How easy it would be for some unscrupulous web-person to trick these fetishists into visiting their website, just by cramming their site full of carefully selected keywords!

Anyway, if you have reached this website hoping for ALBINO PORN, you will not find any on this site. No ALBINO SEX PICS, no HOT ALBINO ON ALBINO ACTION. If you've come looking for sexy ALBINO LESBIAN ENCOUNTERS, you won't find that here. Nor will you find ALBINO BI-CURIOUS STUDS... delightful as they might be. Though I would normally be happy to offer SEXY ALBINO ASIANS IN LATEX LINGERIE, I don't have access to any such material. And I'm just as lacking when it comes to DIRTY ALBINO MIDGETS LICKING JELLO PUDDING OFF OF ALBINO TRANSSEXUAL FARM ANIMALS.

So, in summary, you will not find any sexual content involving albinos on this, the Joey Headset, website. I apologize for any inconvenience.

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Posted by Joey at August 8, 2007 05:07 AM

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Albino porn albino porn albino porn
In fact I'm not a brainless piece of albino porn software.
Love your blog dude, keep it up.

And ho, grab something against albino porn attracted robots :p

Posted by: brasil pharmacy mortgage on joey headset cards at August 27, 2007 10:48 PM

Wow... a real commenter impersonating a SPAMMER! That's certainly a change of pace.

Posted by: joey at August 28, 2007 02:32 AM

What the fuck?! This is not albino porn you deceiving son of a bitch. No, seriously. I have never seen this site before, I was searching for albino porn. I think you hit the nail on the head about it being an unexploited market.

I was looking at the trial page of a porn site (I don't pay, ever, but I look at trials every now and then) and I saw a fairly pale girl when i thought "remember that girl Woody got married to on cheers? She was kind of pasty. It was strangely sexy though. I wonder how I would find porn with more people like that. You know, I've never met an albino, are they hot? Would they make good porn? Rule 34 of the internet: If it exists, there is porn of it somewhere." and here I am.

Just thought I'd let you know in case you were curious how someone winds up searching for albino porn

Posted by: Bob at September 9, 2007 01:47 AM

Haha, my trap was effective!

Actually, now I feel sort of bad for leading people on. I promise you, if I actually had any Albino Porn, I'd post it on the site! Albinos are kind of strange looking actually. They have no skin pigment so their eyes are red and you can sort of see their blood through their skin.

Actually, that sounds kinda hot. MUST FIND SOME REAL ALBINO PORN!

Posted by: joey at September 12, 2007 01:26 PM

HAHAHAH! You caught me too.

However, I'm not curious. My boyfriend told me I could make some big bucks if I did porn, jokingly, because I guess there is none. So I wanted to see if I could fine some. I did. But I already know what everything looks like. Yeah, I'm an albino female, and I know what the parts look like. I actually prefer being albino.

And not all have red eyes. Mine are the bluist of blue.

Posted by: Meg at February 25, 2008 12:20 AM

I do apologize for suggesting that all albinos have red eyes. As usual, I don't really know what I'm talking about. Tell you what: if you ever start doing some hott albino porn I'll be happy to help you promote it!

Posted by: joey at February 27, 2008 12:27 AM

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