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June 11, 2007

Veronica Mars Cancelled

It's official: The CW has cancelled Veronica Mars! Since this was the only show I actually watch on this so-called television network, I wonder... what spectacular shows do they have in development that are so HELLA-SUPER-AWESOME that they'd be willing to flush their only decent show down the toilet just to make room on the schedule?

Needless to say, all my questions were answered when I ventured onto the CW website to check out their Fall 2007 line-up. They've got so many AMAZING shows on the way, it's quite understandable why Veronica Mars had to be brushed aside. Here are just a few of the televisual treats that await CW viewers this fall!

Gossip Girl

Rich young (mostly) white people are obsessed with some inturrnet blog written by some anonymous rich young (mostly) white person. Will the hot hot socialites find out the identity of the Gossip Girl blogger (thereby ensuring the immediate end of the series)? Will hot sexy rich teens hook up and then betray each other by hooking up with other hot sexiness? And, of course, lets not forget the BIG QUESTION: will anyone watch this for the 3-4 weeks it will last before its inevitable cancelation???



Carson Kressley (the REALLY gay guy on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy) and some other bitch "referee an eight-episode competition that dares to pit mother-daughter teams against each other in a no-holds-barred beauty pageant". This is the perfect show for bulimics who are too lazy to stick fingers down their throat.

Online Nation

You know those fun video clips you like to watch on the internet? Haven't you ever wished you could watch the exact same videos... ON TELEVISION? I could go on about how stupid this is. And on. AND ON. Actually... I already have, in my classic essay "The Internet. On TV!"

CW Now

It's a half hour of fashion and pop culture reports by annoying American Idol rejects and former Reality TV contestants. The perfect show for Americans who don't have health insurance and can't afford to pay for their lobotomy out-of-pocket.

Farmer Wants a Wife

Reality show. Farm Boy wants to meet a nice City Girl to be his Missus. Bitchery and inanity ensue. You've never seen anything like this show! (Unless you've watched television at any point in the last 10 years, in which case you've likely seen 5 or 6 shows exactly like it).

8 Days a Week

Hot young twenty somethings learn that working a job is "like totally hard n' stuff"! Television viewers learn that The WB is the biggest piece of shit excuse for a television network EVAR.

Posted by Joey at June 11, 2007 10:49 PM

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