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February 04, 2007

Tips for throwing a FUNTASTIC Super Bowl Party

1. Make sure that you schedule your party on the ACTUAL day of the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl party I threw last July was a dismal failure.

2. Don't invite anyone who actually CARES about the outcome of the game. These people get pissed off when you change the channel to the Cartoon Network in the 4th quarter. Trust me on this.

3. Everyone knows that the only way to make the Super Bowl worth watching is to put bet money on it. A friendly Super Bowl pool is a good way to get your guests involved in the game... but I prefer to make sidebets on individual players. For instance, last year I bet that three of the players on the championship team would be involved in an "incident" outside a strip club within the next 2 months. I made $20 on that bet!

4. Don't serve the same old generic party food -- after all, this is the GOD DAMN SUPER BOWL. Get into the spirit by serving food relating to the two teams playing in the big game. This year the Chicago Bears are competing against the Indianapolis Colts. So, for Chicago, you could get some deep dish pizza. And for Indy... what the hell do they eat in Indiana? Corn chips? Of course, you could also base your menu selections on the team mascot. This year I'm cooking up a festive "Super Bowl Chili" which includes both bear AND horse meat. It tastes like chicken! Well... sort of.

5. Make sure you have enough beer. I usually buy two cases of Old Milwaukee... for each person attending the party. If my guests aren't TOTALLY FUCKING WASTED by the opening kickoff, then I haven't done my job as a host.

6. The Super Bowl is a 4 hour plus MARATHON of televisual entertainment. If you step away from the TV for just a moment, you'll be missing something AWESOME. Even the commercials are worth watching! But this creates a problem: when do you use the bathroom? If you have an extra TV at your place, do your guests a favor by putting that in TV your restroom. If you don't have an extra, put a bucket next to your TV so guests can relieve themselves without leaving the room.

7. After the game, it's fun to get out the old pigskin and "reenact" some of the highlight moments of the game. However, it's best to do this OUTDOORS. Last year I broke my most of the furniture in my apartment during an over the top touchdown celebration. Still, it was totally worth it!

Posted by Joey at February 4, 2007 05:07 AM

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Loved your comment on Stereogum about hipsters. Fucking golden.

Posted by: Mo! at February 6, 2007 05:03 PM

Thanks! It's always fun to trash hipsters. Look, I can understand if some people don't care for Silverman's comedy. As they say, it's "not for everyone". But you could tell from that thread that these are the exact same people who were praising her before she became a (sort of) well known entertainer. These knee-jerk hipster backlashes are so freaking predictable.

Posted by: joey at February 7, 2007 01:11 AM

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