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January 18, 2007

Generic Blog Post

["Breaking news" about freckly redhead actress entering rehab. Bad jokes about alcohol and cocaine abuse, reference to actress as "firecrotch" and link to months-old photo of actress's exposed vagina in limousine.]

[Whining about how I feel fat after the holidays. Gushing about how awesome my friends are. Confessing on how I like to cut myself sometimes. Desperate cries for attention, begging readers to "friend me" on social networking site.]

[Embedded Youtube video of former pop singer/American Idol judge slurring her speech and acting intoxicated on a morning news show. Comment about how obvious it is she is drunk, quote from publicist contending that she wasn't. Assorted cheap shots about her looks, her weight, her co-hosts and the cartoon cat she used to perform with.]

[Apology about how I haven't posted in a while, excuses about being busy, not having internet access, etc.]

[Achingly earnest reaction to ABC Medical Drama actor who allegedly called gay actor on his show a distasteful slur. Call for offending actor to be fired, link to corresponding internet petition.]

[Very brief, insubstantial post designed to fill time in between legitimate updates.]

Posted by Joey at January 18, 2007 06:35 AM

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