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December 14, 2006

The Joey Headset Gift Guide - Introduction

Some people say Jesus is the "Reason for the Season". That's great. But last time I checked, Jesus hadn't BOUGHT me anything. Not even a gift certificate for the Olive Garden! And for yours truly, the True Meaning of Christmas is people buying stuff. For me.

Of course, there is a DARK side to Christmas -- and I'm not talking about Slasher, The Most Murderous Reindeer. The dark side of the holidays is that you have to buy stuff for other people. Otherwise they stop buying you stuff, which is total bullshit. It's bad enough that you have to spend your money on people who aren't you, but you also have to figure out what other people might want to receive. This can be very difficult, especially when you don't really care about or listen to other people. It's always tempting to keep things simple and give all your friends and loved ones gift certificates to the Olive Garden. But remember: some people have been BANNED from the Olive Garden due to various incidents of public nudity and breadstick related violence. Or maybe that's just me.

Look, the point is that a good gift should come from the heart. And by the heart, I mean the internet! That's why I'm using my little chunk of the net to recommend delightful gifts that will provide endless joy to everyone you know! In days to come, I'll be profiling all the HOTT gifts of this holiday season, plus some unusual items that no one on your gift list will expect. Just like nobody expects to pass a kidney stone.

Stay tuned!

Posted by Joey at December 14, 2006 04:41 AM

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