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June 19, 2006

No More Nerdcore

What happens when you combine video games, white people and rap music?

Nothing good. Case in point:

This video, by the Canadian group 64K, is part of a disturbing trend. Some refer to this new musical genre as Nerdcore or Geeksta rap, but you need not invent new terminology when old terms like "weak" and "crap" still work just fine. White people rapping about video games and computers over thift store synthesizer rhythms may seem like good idea on paper, but... Actually, even on paper it seems like a bad idea. A VERY VERY BAD IDEA.

You know, there's a reason why rap lyrics have historically focused on topics such as selling drugs and shooting people: because these topics are AWESOME. If I sold drugs and shot people, I would talk about it ALL THE TIME. If, however, I spent most of my time watching Star Wars and playing ancient Nintendo games -- that's the sort of personal information I would opt to keep private. I wouldn't talk about it... AND I SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T RAP ABOUT IT.

Look, I understand why the "geek community" embraces these rappers. Nerdcore allows dorks and losers to briefly imagine that wallowing in pop culture minutia can turn you into a BADASS -- if you do it to an old skool casio beat. However, this is merely a fantasy, and a dangerous one at that. Despite the modern self-empowerment craze, the world functions best when everyone feels precisely as powerful as they are. For geeks, low self-esteem is a necessary self-defense mechanism. If they start feeling more powerful than they actually are, this newfound confidence will only serve to instigate brutal asskickings (on those rare occasions when geeks wander out of their basements). Killing someone for their gold chain makes you a badass, beating Super Mario Bros. in under 5 minutes earns you nothing more than calloused thumbs and a perversely impoverished social life. Like it or not, that's how the world is.

Therefore, I call upon everyone to avoid geek-rap. If you want to listen to rap, don't fuck around with mc chris or MC Frontalot. Go and buy yourself an NWA CD, instead. You'll be glad you did.

Posted by Joey at June 19, 2006 07:00 PM

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