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June 05, 2006

48 Hours of Benson

Kick ass! TV Land, the network that specializes in reruns, is doing a 48 hour Benson marathon! You remember Benson, right?

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SHUT UP OLSEN TWINS!

Perhaps the show was a little before your time. Actually, since this sitcom aired from 1979-1986, it was sort of before my time; but it was constantly in reruns when I was growing up. The show centered around Benson Dubois, a black guy who works with a bunch of whiteys in the Governor's mansion of some unspecified state. In this sense, the show was a lot like the West Wing: lots of political intrigue, brainy dialogue and a massive ensemble cast.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA ... I'm just fucking with you. Benson is about as far removed from the West Wing as any show could be. Really, the entire show revolved around the main character making smart-ass remarks at everyone else in the cast: the dumbass Governor, the snobby lawyer, the annoying housekeeper, etc. From this description, you can probably imagine why the show appealed to a young Joey Headset.

Since I have nothing to do this weekend, I figured I would spend Saturday and Sunday watching the Benson marathon. All 48 Hours! From time to time, I'll check in on this site to let you know how much I'm enjoying it!

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Update, Hour 1: WOO it's Benson! Haven't seen this show in years. This is going to be awesome. I got snacks, beer, invited a few friends over. Let the good times ROLL!

Update, Hour 2: Oh dear. This show isn't quite as funny as I remember. Too many heartwarming moments, not enough vicious sarcasm. All of my friends left after the first hour (specifically, after I ran out of snacks). Fucking bastards. Doesn't matter, not going to let them ruin my fun.

Update, Hour 5: : This show is fucking AWFUL! Can't imagine why I ever thought otherwise. The fact that I was like nine years old when I first saw it may have something to do with it. Nine year olds think everything is funny, even Saturday Night Live. I don't know how I'm going to make it through 48 continuous hours of this. I should probably just give up... but that would make me a quitter! I said I was going to watch the whole marathon, and that's what I intend to do. I'll just have to find a way to tough it out.

Update, Hour 10: : Hey, I think I've found a way to make this interesting. I just invented the Benson Drinking Game. Here's how it works: every time Benson makes one of his smart ass remarks, you yell "INSULT!" at the screen and take a drink.

Update, Hour 12: : soo drunkk! i didnt' tghink i wold half to drinnk somych so faaast! damm you Benson an yore wisecrackin ways!!

Update, Hour 20: : Ugh. I must have passed out for a few hours. That Benson Drinking Game probably wasn't such a good idea. This hangover is going to be pretty bad, but at least I have Benson to keep me company.

Update, Hour 24:: Ooh, They are showing the 2 part Benson Goes to Hong Kong special. Back in the 80s, they sure knew how to take a dump on other people's cultures. It's a beautiful thing. Also, I enjoy the way they keep mixing the peppy Benson theme song with a cool ASIAN theme that is as mysterious as it is trite. It's tritesterious!

Update, Hour 30:: Just like a real (non-Benson) marathon runner, I think I'm getting my second wind! Either that or the show is making me retarded. Anyway, inspired by my new energy, I just wrote a poem:

Benson Benson Benson,
you are the man
Make sarcastic comments
That's always part of your plan
The Gov'ner is a moron and Clayton is a dick
But if you say mean things to them
That will always do the trick
GOOOOO BENSON!

Update, Hour 35:: Maybe it's just the Benson talkin', but Ms. Kraus is starting to look pretty HOT.

Update, Hour 39:: Can't. Take. Any. More. Benson.

Update, Hour 47:: I'm gonna make it! I'm going to survive 48 straight hours of Benson! Finally I can turn off the TV, go get some fresh air. Hey -- hold on a minute. TV Land is doing a 62 hour Sanford and Son marathon starting at 6AM on Monday. I am so going to watch that!

Posted by Joey at June 5, 2006 01:18 PM

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