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May 29, 2006

Questionable Plot Summaries from DirecTV

As many of you already know, I am a DirecTV subscriber. One of the advantages of DirecTV is that it offers so much televisual entertainment, I can almost forget that I don't have any friends and hardly ever leave the house. Almost...

Another advantage of DirecTV is this:

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That's the info button on the DirecTV remote -- and it's pretty useful! When you push the button during a movie, DirecTV tells you the name of the film, plus some details about the cast and plot. For instance, earlier this evening, the USA Network was showing the movie Deliverance. Just out of curiosity, I hit the info button. This is an exact quote of the data that appeared on my screen:

"Deliverance. Movie, Action/Adventure: (1972) Jon Voight, Burt Reynolds, Ned Beatty. Nature and mountain men humble four Atlanta businessmen on a canoe trip in the Appalachian wilds. AC, AL, CC."

Uh... HUMBLE?!?

I'm pretty sure I've never heard the word humble used to describe the particular fate of those Atlanta businessmen. In my own life, I've experienced many humbling situations... yet none of those situations required me to "squeal like a pig." A few times I was forced to bark like a dog, but that was something totally different.

The point is this: If DirecTV thinks Deliverance is an action/adventure movie about a few businessmen who get "humbled", I wonder how they would describe films with similar themes. Perhaps it would look something like this...

The Crying Game. Dramady: (1992) Forrest Whitaker, Jaye Davidson. A prideful British soldier finds his hubris severely compromised by a sexy night club singer.

Brokeback Mountain. Buddy Film: (2005) Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal. Two cowboy friends help each other find humility on a mountain. Hot, sweaty humility.

Boys Don't Cry. DocuDrama: (1999) Hilary Swank, Chloe Sevigny. A tomboyish teen makes fast friends in a small Nebraska town -- until those friends brutally take her down a few pegs.

Bareback Mania #3: Well Hung and Young. CockuDrama: (2004). Willie Hung, Rick Hardmember. Pretty much wall to wall modesty. Some scenes include self-deprecation. No condoms.

Posted by Joey at May 29, 2006 05:02 AM

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