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May 08, 2006

7th Heaven Series Finale

For centuries, philosophers and theologians have considered this question:

Can God create a TV show so bad, even He can't watch it?

In 1996, the WB Network put an end to all that philosophical pondering once and for all with the introduction of "7th Heaven". Over the last 10 seasons, 7th Heaven has been the WB's flagship program... a Family Drama that can be enjoyed by the Entire Family. So long as your Family is white, Christian and really really boring. Though the program has been a consistent ratings leader for the WB, the network is finally bringing 7th Heaven to a conclusion. As usual, internet-people have started a petition drive, arguing that the WB is "only canceling the show because [insert preposterous reason for canceling a TV show that fans of the show invent when they don't know what the hell they're talking about]". Even though the petition drive is doomed to failure (like every other petition drive in the history of the world), it's hard not to feel sorry for fans who have lost their favorite show. Take heart 7th Heavenites: you can spend that extra hour on Mondays harshly judging people who don't practice your religion! Just like you spend every other hour of your week.

The final episode airs tonight, but I've already downloaded the it off of BitTorrent. For those of you who can't wait to find out what happens to the Camdens, read on:

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[SPOILER SPACE]
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In the final episode of 7th Heaven, every member of the Camden family gets shot. In the face.

Oh well... so much for those spin-off rumors.

Posted by Joey at May 8, 2006 06:11 AM