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March 10, 2006

Random Crap Roundup

Local TV news is only good at two things: Covering local weather and presenting stories about awful things happening to people who live near you. If there's a Winter Storm Watch in effect, or if your neighbor just shot your other neighbor in the face - local news is there for you! But what happens when these two core elements of local news combine (like Voltron)? What happens when one story incorporates both local weather and horrific tragedies inflicted upon people in your area? As it turns out, what you end up with is a story about a local man overdosing on heroin, then losing his job.

Oh, did I mention... that local man just happens to be the weather guy at my local NBC affiliate!!! Local news just can't any better than this. You can even watch a video of this drug abusing weatherman being interviewed by his former co-workers. Oooh... the humiliation! Adding extra pizzazz to an already zesty story, one week after the overdose, another weatherman at the same TV station admitted that he was ALSO addicted to heroin.

TV News is fun.

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If you can't get enough of American Idol, you're a complete fucking idiot. Fortunately for you, the FOX Reality Channel is all about servicing the needs of complete fucking idiots. FOX Reality's new program, "American Idol Extra" will incorporate special backstage footage, as well as...

I'm sorry, just trying to finish that sentence bored me to the point where I wanted to die.

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Also in the news: web site operator Joey Headset has failed in his attempt to find something genuinely interesting to write about on a Thursday night. When asked for comment, Headset stated: "Yeah... I'm just drawing a blank here. I got nothin. I even resorted to browsing the Yahoo! News entertainment headlines - still couldn't find anything." When asked how he could struggle doing his daily update while other "Bloggers" update several times a day, Headset was quoted as saying: "FUCK YOU. I'm trying to write full length comedy pieces! Everyone else just links to each other's stupid posts. The Blog-O-Sphere is one ginormous circle jerk, and I'm the one dude stuck in the middle, jerking all by myself! Uh... crap. You know, I'm not really happy with the way that came out - can you just forget I said anything? Please don't quote me on that."

Posted by Joey at March 10, 2006 03:16 AM

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