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March 02, 2006

Game Review: Sudoku

Six months ago, if you had asked me what "Sudoku" was, I would have guessed that it's something you might order at a sushi restaurant; or perhaps some form of ritualized suicide. Maybe it refers to a series of comic books in which saucer eyed schoolgirls get brutally raped by demonic tentacle creatures. (Did I miss any crass Japanese stereotypes there? No... I think that pretty much covers it.)

Anyway, Sudoku has come a long way in the last few months. It's EVERYWHERE now! You can't open a newspaper or even walk through the Wal-Mart checkout line without seeing a Sudoku puzzle. In case you are still unaware, Sudoku is a puzzle game in which players must fill numerals into a 9x9 grid according to certain esoteric rules. And what could be more fun than filling numbers into a grid? Wait... I think I know the answer to that question:

QUITE LITERALLY ANYTHING.

Let me ax you something: What part of NUMBER or GRID sounds like fun to you? When I think of an activity involving numbers and grids, this is what comes to mind:

sud_sprdsht.jpg

Here's some math that any Sudoku player should appreciate: Numbers + Grids = Spreadsheets = Accounting = NOT FUN.

Really, if I was the sort of person who likes to "relax" with math puzzles, I would have elected to grow up in a country where children actually learn math. And that country sure as hell isn't America. In reality, we American gamers are very easy to please. Give us a simulated army of space nazis and some virtual machine guns to slaughter them with - and we're happy!

Honestly, if I wanted intellectual stimulation I'd go watch television. I give the game of Sudoku zero Joeys.

(this is where the Joeys would be if I had awarded this game any Joeys - which I didn't)

Posted by Joey at March 2, 2006 02:05 PM

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