« Fun (Olympic!) Facts: Curling | Main | Fun (Olympic!) Facts: Luge »

February 21, 2006

New Products for You to Try!

If you don't buy lots of stuff, it's like the neo-communists have already won! If you've got a few extra dollars burning a hole in your fannypack, try these exciting new products:

Hylexin: A medicine that combats dark circles beneath your eyes; "serious dark circles". Not to be confused with comical or decorative dark circles, such as those worn by the members of Kiss. Hylexin is classified as a "cosmeceutical".

Activia: It's yogurt with friendly bacteria that are sensitive to the special digestive needs of women. These bacteria are attentive and want to talk about your feelings and will rub your bloated feet, expecting nothing sexual in return. Activa is classified as a "yogurceutical".


Cracktiva: You smoke this product and get very, very high. Cracktiva is classified as a Class A Controlled Substance.

Posted by Joey at February 21, 2006 03:37 AM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:


Post a comment

Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)

Remember me?