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February 14, 2006

Happy fucking Valentines Day

It's Valentine's Day, and I've got nothing to show for it. No cards, no chocolates, not even one of those anonymous "I've got an S.T.D, you should get checked" emails. Attention Saint Valentinus: FUCK YOU.

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At least I can always count on my old friends in the SPAM community to give me some love on this, the most romantic of days. Here is a collection of the most ROMANTIC Valentine's Day Spam I've received today.

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Subject: Fucking St. Valentine

What are you to do if you have bad erection? Especially
in the forthcoming Saint Valentines Day???
Don t worry, it is not the last of pea-time...
The most simple way is to visit our site, order the
medication and that is all you are to do!

Do not kill the clock!

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Subject: If you have always dreamed of being called a sex machine

Are you tired of your friend bragging about having wonderful sex every night?
You can get the same with our Viagra Soft Tabs.
Are you ready for the new, extremely pleasant and irresistible adventures in bed?
Do you want to lose your head and wake up drowning in the ocean of your own sperm?
Then Soft Viagra tabs are just for you.
Make her scream like never before.

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Subject: Feel the fire with Viagra Pro.

You want erection of your dick - Viagra Pro will make it quick.
You dream of rivers of sperm, of penis enormous and firm,
just listen to your inner voice Viagra Pro should be your choice.

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Subject: Cuming like a giant is trendy; Spermamax can help you with it.

Spermamax is premium combination of herbs,
vitamins and minerals that can improve not
only your sperm but also your life.
To achieve something in your life, you need to have a child. If you have any problems with reproduction, Spermamax can help you.
Spermamax will make your sperm restless.

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Subject: Do you want to see the fountain of sperm?

Hello!
My name is Erectile Dysfunction.
I have a lot of friends such us: bad sex, awful mood, dissatisfied wife, short erections and spoiled condoms.
But I do have one enemy - its name is Soft Cialis Tabs.
When they appear, I disappear.

Cialis Soft Tabs. Masculinity and man power.

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Subject: For your wife's last b-day you gave her a vibrator because of your hopeless Erectile Dysfunction.

Your neighbors lost their alarm-clock?
Don't worry, the sounds of your satisfaction from having sex with our new Soft Cialis Tabs
will make them wake up every morning or even have sleepless nights if you enlarge your dose.

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Aw... thanks SPAMMERS. You always know how to brighten my day!

Posted by Joey at February 14, 2006 05:33 PM