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January 31, 2006

Super Bowl Shrinkage

The Super Bowl is coming, and I can't wait! Though it's only Tuesday, I've already started drinking and gorging myself on horrible, greasy food in preparation for the big game. I actually do that on most Tuesday nights, but at least this time I have an excuse.

Anyway... to the casual observer, it probably seems like the Super Bowl gets bigger and bigger every year: more hype, more media coverage, more irresponsible drinking, more spending the fourth quarter vomiting all over your neighbor's car. Or maybe that's just me. The point is this: though it may seem like the Super Bowl is a bigger event every year, my research indicates that the big game is actually getting smaller.

madbigface.jpg

In case you didn't know, Sunday will mark the 40th NFL championship game, and in roman numerals, the number 40 is represented by the letters XL - the same letters that denote the size "extra large" on t-shirts. Thus, this coming championship game will officially be the Extra Large Super Bowl. Now, some of you are probably thinking... "Wow that's awesome. Next stop, Super Bowl XXL... the Extra, Extra Large Super Bowl!" Well, that's a nice thought, but it ain't going to happen. XXL is a perfectly valid t-shirt size, but it is not a valid roman numeral. In fact, the next time a Super Bowl's numeral will correspond to a shirt size will be exactly one decade from now: Super Bowl L. That's right: the 50th Super Bowl will merely be Large - therefore, the game will actually shrink by one size over the next ten years. This is why major sporting events should always be hand-washed in cold water, and line-dried.

After that, there is good news and bad news for the NFL. The bad news is that their "big game" will continue to shrink for the foreseeable future. The good news is that it will shrink at a much slower rate. After size L, the next smallest shirt size is M - size Medium. In roman numerals, the letter M indicates the number 1,000. Thus, Super Bowl M will not occur until the year 2966! By then, the game of football will probably be played by giant robots or zombies... possibly Norwegians.

Posted by Joey at January 31, 2006 04:21 AM

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