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January 05, 2006

2006 Preview: Television

Hot off the heals of our 2006 Fashion Preview, it's high time that we examined...

Television in 2006

You may have seen promos for the new Jenna Elfman comedy on CBS, "Courting Alex". As the former Dharma and Greg star bares her midriff in a variety of revealing outfits, viewers quickly learn two things about Ms. Elfman's post-Dharma career:

1. She's been doing a lot of sit ups.

2. She's still not funny.

What you probably don't know about Jenna's new show is that it's part of a new trend that will be huge in 2006. You see, "Courting Alex" is actually the American version of a British comedy called "According to Bex". Of course, this is nothing new. American TV has been borrowing ideas from the Brits for a while now, most notably with NBC's The Office and (much less successfully) Coupling. It's not surprising that American networks would want to create new shows based on successful British programs. But... According to Bex wasn't a successful program for the BBC. When the program aired on the BBC 1, it was beaten in the ratings by another network showing 100 year old archival footage. Clearly, American TV executives have finally exhausted the world's supply of good ideas for television programs. Starting in 2006, they will start ripping off all the bad ideas. Bad news for you, great news for me. You see, over the years, I've come up with literally thousands of terrible ideas for television programs. Every week I would grab a crayon and scrawl a few dozen of them on an old copy of the Weekly World News and send them to prominent TV executives. Now that bad ideas are in demand, I'll finally be able to see some of my own visions come to life on prime time TV. I can't wait!

Also on CBS, Tom Cavanagh stars in the new series "Love Monkey", based on the popular novel of the same name. If you loved Cavanagh when he starred in NBC's "Ed", then... God, what the fuck is wrong with you? To be fair, the Canadian born actor seems to be much less annoying in this new series... but even 25% of really fucking annoying is still pretty fucking annoying. Do the math.

lmunky.jpg

In the series, Cavanagh plays "a 30-something up and coming single record executive who's navigating the tumultuous and highly amusing waters of work and dating in NYC" Not just amusing, folks - highly amusing. If you're wondering why the show is called Love Monkey, the pilot episode incorporates a lot of simian metaphors; the protagonist "swings from branch to branch", and fears ending up "one lonely monkey". But will the show's writers be able to sustain these monkey references as the series progresses? Doesn't matter... no one will be watching.

Finally, Joey Headset is a HUGE fan of Saturday Night Live. Well, I was a fan. Back when I was, like, 12 years old and staying up until midnight still had some novelty value. Nevertheless, I was thrilled when a friend of mine at NBC forwarded me a list of new recurring characters that will be featured on SNL in 2006. The recurring character sketch has been a staple of SNL since the beginning. Back in the day, it was a way to let talented comedians such as Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin develop a character over the course of multiple sketches. These days, it's more of an efficiency thing; a means of turning one (marginal) joke into a dozen (marginal) sketches. According to this list, here are some new SNL characters that will soon be making America laugh:

Fortunately for us all, 2006 will bring a cornucopia of mindless, pandering entertainment product. And when it comes right down to it, what else does life have to offer?

Posted by Joey at January 5, 2006 04:55 AM

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